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dragonfly11***
"There is immunity in reading, immunity in formal society, in office routine, in the company of old friends and in the giving of officious help to strangers, but there is no sanctuary in one bed from the memory of another. The past with its anguish will break through every defense-line of custom and habit; we must sleep and therefore we must dream.”
- Cyril Connolly
***
Part IV- The End
nbsp;Jack wearily opened his eyes. The nightmarish events of last week had been revisiting him in his dreams again, leaving him more exhausted than he had been before falling asleep.
It had been six days since Daniel had died saving his life. Six days since Jack had left a piece of his sanity lying in that God forsaken jungle. Six days since his world had come crashing down around him…
Six days…
//~*~SG1~*~//
***
"The Promised Land always lies on the other side of a Wilderness."
nbsp; - Havelock Ellis
***
When Jack saw Cornelius running towards them and felt Daniel tense…he knew he should have set his VCR to tape, “The Simpsons.”
“Oi."
Hell was easier getting out of than this damn jungle.
Watching as Cornelius tried, unsuccessfully, to hail someone on the radio again, Jack decided that he wanted to know…and he wanted to know now, why there wasn’t such a thing called a “simple” rescue mission.
There were “simple” schemes to get rich quick. There were “simple” steps to reduce your risk of heart disease. “Simple” steps to reduce global warming. Jack had even seen a book on “simple” rules for taking over the world.
But no one had ever thought to come up with the “simple” rescue mission.
After hearing Cornelius’ radio crackle vacantly for the fifth time in a row, Jack couldn’t help but ask him if he even had it on the right frequency.
“Of course, Colonel,” was the only reply he got, and suddenly the weight of the world Jack had been carrying around all day, got heavy.
Bowing his head, Jack rubbed his brow. “Could this day get any worse?”
Looking up, he realized that he had asked his question out loud. “I’m just saying—so far, we’ve been shot at, nearly talked into a coma, and bungee jumping…without the bungee, I might add.” Not to mention, he had almost lost his best friend for the maximum amount of times allotted in one day.
When the only response he got was a couple of raised eyebrows, he digressed with a huff. “So, what now?”
“You will surrender and tell us how to work the device.”
Eyeing the next obstacle that stood between them and home, Jack’s grip unconsciously tightened around Daniel. “What the…? Did somebody send out memos, or something?” he demanded, as a band of rebels gathered around them.
“It would be wise for you, señor, to drop your weapon and have your friend come with us,” said a not so very attractive bad guy, who looked to Jack like he had spinach for teeth.
“Ooh, I don’t think so.”
“Jack.”
“Not a word, Daniel.” There was no way he was going to let them take Daniel. For crying out loud, he had just gotten him back. He was getting Daniel out of there—even if he had to die, ascend, break some rules and kick some rebel ass to do it. Daniel was going home. He just had to figure out how.
Damnit! How hard could it be to get one archeologist home alive?
“If you do not surrender him over to us, we will simply kill you both now.”
Apparently very hard.
Jack risked a glance at Cornelius. He’d just been standing there, motionless. Hoping that his inaction was due to his planning of action, Jack set up to give him more time.
“Listen…why don’t we be rational about …?”
A dozen automatic weapons leveling on him and Daniel answered his question. “Ooor, not.”
Looking back at Cornelius, Jack found that he now had his gun, Jack’s gun, trained on them as well. Perhaps I didn’t underestimate him after all.
Those of SG-1 who were present, spoke in unison. “Mummy see, mummy do.”
~*~SG1~*~
***
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."
- Sir Walter Scott
***
“I’m sorry, Colonel. My intention is not to kill either you, or Dr. Jackson. It is only to learn how to work the device.”
“Aaahh, yeaah, you can call me Jack.” Turning towards Daniel, he added, “That list Daniel…”
“Just got bigger,” the younger man finished.
“Colonel…”
Jack raised his hand. “I just…sorry, I’m a little confused. Comes with old age, you know.”
Cornelius sucked in a breath. For some unexplainable reason, he felt he owed these two extraordinary friends an explanation…and so, he was going to give them one. “Handez was my wife’s brother. I joined his cause when I married Eliena. Why not, eh?” He shrugged. “America did not appear to have anymore use for me. So, I pledged my allegiance to both Handez and Eliena as Eliena and I kissed for the very first time as husband and wife.”
Instead of lunging at Cornelius, beating him to a pulp and getting both him and Daniel killed; Jack used his other favorite way to vent frustration…his mouth. “Ooh, I just love a sappy story,” he enthused sarcastically. “What about you, Daniel?”
He could feel his friend getting heavier in his arms—the price it cost him to look defiant. But, despite the fact that he could barely stand…Daniel’s mouth worked just as well as Jack’s. “Oh yeah, pass the Kleenex, please.”
Cornelius, having grown accustomed to their smart ass remarks, continued as if unfazed. “Over the months, it became clearer and clearer that Handez’s agenda did not match that of mine and my wife’s. My brother-in-law’s hunger for power began to seriously interfere with our objective.”
“Money.” Jack supplied for him.
Cornelius tried to ignore the agitated looks he was getting from all around. “There were others that also did not approve of Handez’s…overwhelming new interest. So, we assembled our own faction and waited for the right moment to take over.&rdquo
“Which is why you had no problem killing his men,” Daniel supplied.
“Sooo, why did you need us? And what was with that whole thing about your wife?” Jack asked, waving a hand in the air and stalling for hope the best he could.
“We had heard from some operatives—whom we still had working for Handez, about some captured scientists and a magical device. It was when I got a call from an old friend, telling me to help you in any means possible, that I knew it was something big. And seeing that the United States was sending a valuable member on an unauthorized rescue mission, we knew they’d have our government looking the other way.”
“So you used us to get the artifact across the border.”
“Yes Dr. Jackson, but I had to be sure the colonel could pull it off. If he did not succeed in rescuing you, no doubt it would leave my wife and I in hiding. Handez would not have stopped until he had his revenge.”
“And how did you …?”
“When I told you, Colonel, that I could not carry out the mission as initially planned, your determination did not falter. I was impressed by your loyalty. I knew you would not fail this man.”
“She didn’t mind you killing her own brother?” Daniel asked. The last thing he needed was to start feeling all mushy inside. His body was dealing with enough as it was.
“I did not kill Handez. Though I would have if the situation had presented itself. And as for my wife, she loves to shop and the money we will be…acquiring for this piece will no doubt allow her to shop as much as her heart desires,” he answered, resting his arm on Jack’s P-90.
“Awe…nothing says love like treason and murder,” Jack quipped.
“Think what you will, Colonel, but there is no need for you or Dr. Jackson to die today. Your scheduled pick up is in less than one hour. You two can either tell us how to work the artifact and go home, or Colonel, the official report will say that you died trying to save your friend…who also, unfortunately, did not make it.”
“I’d prefer not to kill you. However, my comrades here could not care less if you walked out of here alive,” he finished, gesturing to his crew.
“Honorable man.” Jack’s words dripped with sarcasm. He bet their former guide had pushed Humpty Dumpty himself.
“I like to think so.”
“Is this what you call being a hero?”
“To my men…to my family, yes.”
“I see. What makes you…?” Jack’s words stopped with his breath when he felt Daniel fall. “Daniel!”
~*~SG1~*~
Daniel really didn’t think he’d be able to stand much longer. The simple action of breathing was leaving him exhausted—as an invisible heaviness crushed his lungs, leaving them struggling for oxygen.
Time was also beginning to slow again. But instead of getting clearer, the world was getting dim; beginning to look and sound as oppressed as his lungs felt. He desperately tried to keep his head up and eyes focused on the wall of muscles and guns, but he could feel he was losing the battle.
Lightheadedness caused his body to sway, and the mass in his chest threatened to pull it down. Finally, the combined feelings of weightlessness and heaviness confused his equilibrium and caused his knees to buckle.
Thankfully, Jack had kept to his promise and tightened his grip before Daniel ended up sprawled unceremoniously on the ground.
~*~SG1~*~
***
“We acquire the strength we have overcome.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
***
Damnit, Daniel! Don’t do this to me.
Jack eased Daniel onto the ground. Kneeling down beside him, he begged the heavens and all that was ungoa’uldly that he was still breathing.
Come on, Daniel. We’re so close. Just fifty more yards and we’ll be as good as home.
Seeing that he was still breathing, but not in the best of ways, Jack’s concern didn’t diminish any. “Daniel?”
After what seemed like an eternity and a thousand faltered heartbeats later, Daniel finally opened his eyes. “I’m okay,” he wheezed. “Ju…just thought I’d get a little more comfortable.”
“Right.” Unconvinced, Jack checked his pulse and was alarmed to find it racing under his pale skin.
Damnit.
Keeping a hand on Daniel’s arm and looking back at their spectators, Jack was surprised to see concern in Cornelius’ eyes. If he looked concerned, than Jack must look like shit
Throwing his military training to the wind, Jack let the enemy see his weakness. “If you don’t let me take this man out of here right now, he will die.” He pleaded just as much with his eyes as he did with his words. It was an uncommon act made necessary by his desperation.
“If you do not tell us how to work the device, he will die.” Cornelius’ own tone deceived his eyes.
Sighing, Jack rest an arm across a knee he had brought up. Well, this is getting nowhere fast.
Looking back down at his friend, Jack was troubled to find that Daniel was losing his grip on consciousness even faster. “Come on, buddy. Stay with me,” he pleaded, lightly cupping his best friend’s clammy cheek and ignoring their all guns and no hearts audience.
At the sound of Jack’s plea, Daniel managed to briefly open his eyes, and again, Jack was taken aback by the amount of trust they held. Even in the most seemingly hopeless situations, Daniel truly believed that he would get him home.
Jack could only pray that it was in time.
Suddenly, a breeze danced across Jack’s worried heart, and he could tell by the hope it carried that it was not a force created by Mother Nature. It was their ride…and by the looks of it, reinforcements as well. He was already pulling Daniel to cover, when bullets started to fly and men began dropping from the jungle’s canopy.
“Wha…wha’s happn’ng?” Daniel asked anxiously, his eyes flying open when he felt himself being dragged across the jungle floor.
Ducking behind a tree, Jack pulled the younger man up beside him. Adrenaline wildly pumped through his veins at the prospect of finally ending this little game of cat and mouse and getting Daniel home where he belonged. “The cavalry’s here, Dannyboy. In just a few short minutes, you’ll be tucked safe and uncomfortable on the next stretcher outta here,” he reassured, pulling out his 9 millimeter and firing back at the scattering rebels.
Bullets pierced the wind as they eagerly hunted out their targets. Left, right, back and forth they searched in a macabre dance, leaving the victims dizzy before the lethal strike. Smoke filled the air and pooled just under the canopy—ghosts of war, perhaps.
As the dizzying and hair raising minutes passed, Jack turned and checked on his charge as much as he dared. Sweat coated his best friend’s features as he struggled to control his breathing. And the drops that ran down his fevered flesh carried an unnatural tint of red from the blood gathered in their descent.
Jack would be a happy man if he never had to see Daniel’s blood again. Red was not a color he liked on his archeologist—especially since he always seemed to be bathed in it.
“Here, take this.” Jack placed his back up in Daniel’s limp hand. He doubted the linguist even had the strength to use it, but it oddly reassured him just to know he had it.
Turning his attention back to the battle, Jack tried to swallow the urge to just throw Daniel over his shoulder and run like hell until he was safe.
If only they were bullet proof.
He could feel the tremors running through the body beside him as he defended their position. He could hear the gun flop carelessly in his friend’s hand by its force.
And Jack begged the bastards to come out and play. Because every bullet Jack fired, he counted as a step closer to home.
One guerrilla…two guerrillas…three guerrillas dead, he sing-songed. It wasn’t that he was taking pleasure in killing the two-timing, backstabbing sons of bitches…not…entirely, anyway. He just wanted to get Daniel home.
He wanted to give Janet a hard time when she threatened to have him surgically removed from Daniel’s bedside. He wanted to give the nurses a hard time, by playing with their instruments as they tried attending to Daniel. He wanted to see the relief in his teammates eyes…including Daniel’s, the second they arrived under the mountain’s artificial lights.
But ultimately, he just wanted to sit beside his best friend and watch the bruises fade.
~*~SG1~*~
He sat listlessly, too exhausted anymore to keep fighting his body’s quakes. Daniel absorbed the sounds of battle like a dirty but desperately needed blanket. It was almost over. And suddenly, he realized, that he couldn’t remember how it had begun.
Tracing events backward through time, Daniel stumbled into the beginning of this insane chapter of his life, and was caught off guard by a renewed sense of loss and pain. But, to his surprise, there was something else too. Something even more overwhelming than hurt and despair.
Loyalty.
Friendship.
Love.
These three things made Daniel realize that he was going to be okay when he saw it coming and reacted to it before his battered body could resist. Raising the gun in a hand, that could barely lift itself moments before, and a body that could barely stand, Daniel threw himself between Jack and his would be assassin.
~*~SG1~*~
***
“They never fail who die in a great cause.”
- Lord Byron
***
Shooting off a few more rounds, Jack turned just in time to see Daniel standing behind him, emptying his entire clip into one of the rebels. When he just watched the man slump to the ground, and didn’t move, Jack got worried. “Daniel?”
Slowly, Daniel turned around, seemingly oblivious to the battle going on in slow motion around him. As their eyes locked, Jack found himself wrapped up in the same distorted scene—and suddenly, the near deafening gunfire and yelling was dulled to an almost indiscernible level.
…and the only thing that really existed were Daniel’s eyes
The blue orbs that had once screamed exhaustion and pain, now whispered relief, gratitude and, to Jack’s horrid realization…goodbye.
“Daniel!” he cried out as his world abruptly sped up and came crashing down. Catching him, they both fell to the ground. Pulling him into his lap, Daniel’s eyes were squeezed shut, just as tightly in pain, as his hand around Jack’s arm was. Blood swelled from his abdomen, carelessly dripping his precious life all over the jungle’s floor.
God, no…
“Jesus, Daniel.” Jack trembled in shock, cupping one hand over his best friend’s cheek while the other begged the bleeding to stop. “Medic! I need a medic!” Voice choked with emotion, he screamed over the battle that still raged around them.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.
But he could feel him slipping away, taking Jack’s sanity along with him. “Daniel, stay with me. Daniel? Daniel!” he cried. “Hang on…come on, damnit. Hang on!”
Jack was shaking just as badly as Daniel now. And tears were spilling from his eyes, just as quickly as Daniel’s life spilled from his body.
“God…Daniel, don’t do this to me,” he pleaded, watching in horror, as the hand that had once needed to be pried off of him, loosened…and the tremors that had been plaguing his friend for days…faded.
No…
~*~SG1~*~
Words danced on his tongue, but they were never offered release. He wanted to tell Jack that he was okay. That he’d be okay. But breath would no longer come…and so, neither would words.
He faded to the muffled echoes of Jack’s pleas and the resounding beat of their rescuers’ wings as it hovered near by.
Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump
“Daniel! Stay with me, Daniel. Daniel!”
Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump …
//~*~SG1~*~//
***
"There is immunity in reading, immunity in formal society, in office routine, in the company of old friends and in the giving of officious help to strangers, but there is no sanctuary in one bed from the memory of another. The past with its anguish will break through every defense-line of custom and habit; we must sleep and therefore we must dream.”
- Cyril Connolly
***
nbsp;
Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep…
Jack woke to the rhythm of his best friend’s heart. The nightmarish events of last week had been revisiting him in his dreams again, leaving him more exhausted than he had been before falling asleep.
It had been six days since Daniel had died saving his life.
Six days.
Five days, twenty-three hours and fifty-eight minutes since they had gotten his heart beating again and two days since they had transported him back to the mountain.
In that time, Daniel had yet to open his eyes and had stopped breathing on more occasions than Jack cared to count before they could get him hooked up to a ventilator.
Jack had also kissed Janet an absolutely humiliating number of times for being on that rescue chopper. Sometimes he really loved that Napoleonic power monger.
It was close…too damn close, as usual. While sitting for four days in that merciless hospital chair in Honduras, (he swore they made those things uncomfortable on purpose) Jack’s heart beat to the staccato rhythm of Daniel’s. Every beep the heart monitor made, allowed Jack’s the same. Every breath the ventilator forced into Daniel’s lungs with a hiss, Jack forced into his—with a silent plea, to whoever was listening, that the music wouldn’t stop.
It was too damn close.
Closing his eyes, Jack let the events of the last week seep from his veins and onto the infirmary’s concrete floor…at least he tried. Because a big part of him knew that he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t forget the fear. He shouldn’t forget the way his heart had sped up and forgot how to beat at the same time. He shouldn’t forget the look on Daniel’s face when he went down, or what it felt like to starve your lungs of oxygen because you suddenly lost the function to breathe when your best friend ceased to…for the forth time in twenty minutes.
Because if he did, if he let all those feelings just melt away and be forgotten…then he wouldn’t have to tell him.
~*~SG1~*~
***
"Never weather-beaten sail more willing bent to shore."
- Thomas Campion
***
Home is where the heart is, someone once said. Where your memories run and where your soul aches for, when it doesn’t know where else to turn. Home is where Daniel’s memories took him when he was held up in that shack. It was home that had let him escape the harshness of his reality…if only so briefly, with the sweet and priceless memories of his friends and family.
It was home that he could feel the safety of now.
Daniel slowly and hesitantly raised his heavy lids and was pleased to find the lights turned down. Oh yeah, he was home. Nowhere else would everyone be anxiously walking around in the dark, just to put his sensitive retinas at ease upon awakening.
Feeling a heaviness on his left arm, Daniel closed his eyes again and cautiously turned his head. When he wasn’t assaulted by nausea or dizziness, he opened them again to find a grey-haired colonel using it as a pillow. Eww, please don’t let that be drool, he prayed at the feel of something wet running down his arm.
Breathing in the long-awaited recycled air, Daniel couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so warm and dry…well, for the most part. Tremors no longer plagued him and his entire body was pleasantly numb. He no longer dreaded the simple act of breathing, as it now came pain free and with its natural ease. Not even the searing agony left behind by the bullet remained.
In fact, the only ache that lingered was from Daniel’s memories.
It seemed like forever since he had last touched his wife. It seemed like years, since he and Bill had found the artifact and nearly drowned for their troubles. It seemed like just yesterday, when Bill was…
And it felt like an eternity, since his footsteps had echoed within these walls…under this mountain. He couldn’t wait to be up and about again. Though he knew it wouldn’t be for a while, if only due to Janet’s insistence.
“Welcome back, Dr. Jackson.”
Cautiously turning his head again, Daniel found the object of his latest musings already checking his pulse.
“Hey.” He surprised himself when it barely came out a whisper. And who, he wondered, had stuffed sandpaper down his throat?
Janet must have seen his discomfort. “Easy, Daniel,” she cajoled, spooning him some ice chips—which Daniel favored like a double mocha shake on a sweltering day.
“You’ve been unconscious for eight days and you’ll still have some residual soreness from the ventilator.”
Daniel’s eyebrows flew up. He remembered swimming to the surface a few times, but the effort to open his eyes was just too much and the comforting activity around him, just lulled him back to sleep.
He guessed he did sleep for a week after all. Not that one could blame him. What was to be a simple mission, a simple excavation…on earth, turned into being one of the most extraordinary journeys of Daniel’s life. His body and soul were tested beyond limits he’s never imagined enduring. But he endured…and ultimately, chose life.
He chose to continue the fight…although some were not given that same option.
“You were one sick son of a bitch, Daniel.”
Turning, he saw an awake and very haggard looking Jack.
At first, Daniel didn’t know how he was going to get past the recent events in his life. He knew he would…he just didn’t know how. But now, as he looked up into the concerned brown eyes of his best friend, who probably hadn’t left his side since he had lost consciousness, it suddenly became clear.
He wasn’t okay now, probably wouldn’t be for a long time, but he would be okay…
Because, this man beside him, along with the rest of his family, would get him through it…get him past it. With a simple touch on the arm, a supportive glance, a bad Jaffa joke or just their everyday banter. Every little thing would give his heart hope.
And although hope might be just as fragile as a heartbeat, Daniel realized, when he had reunited with his wife, that is was just as powerful as one too. And he knew his family would always fight to keep that beat there.
Suddenly realizing that he’d just been lying there, staring at Jack, Daniel decided it was time to pass a little bit of hope around himself. “You drooled on me,” he croaked matter-of-factly and eagerly prepared himself for his best friend’s reaction.
Jack looked appalled. “I. did. not!”
Daniel didn’t back down, despite the fact that his eyes were already closing against his will. “Did too.”
“Did not!”
“Did too.”
“Did not!”
“Okay, boys. Daniel needs his rest,” Janet intervened, although she was enjoying the banter, just as much, if not more than the two. “Colonel, why don’t you go tell Sam and Teal’c that D'Artagnan has decided to grace us with his presence?”
Jack looked like he was pondering Janet’s words. “Don’t you mean, “Athos, could you please go tell Porthos and Aramis that D’Artagnan has decided to grace us with his presence?””
“I’m on it,” he quickly added standing up when all he got was, The Look.
“Thank you, sir.”
Looking back down at his best friend’s sleeping features, and listening as Janet’s feet carried her away, Jack wasn’t totally surprised when his feigning archeologist whispered, “Did too.”
And Daniel wasn’t the least bit surprised when his head was rubbed and, “Jungle Monkey,” was whispered affectionately into his ear.
~*~SG1~*~
***
“The measure of a human being is not in their deeds, but in the legacy they leave.”
- Scott Shuker
***
Daniel had been awake, begging for coffee and putting on a face of content for five days now. The bruises were fading on the outside, but Jack feared they were consuming him on the inside. Sure, he figured, Daniel knew they’d always be there to pull him out in the event that he should slip into his sorrow too far. And he was right. But why did he still insist on wearing a mask?
What was the point anyway? Jack wondered.
Why do we clutch onto our masks, as tightly as if they were a memory? Why do we lie—what we hope to be, straight faced to our friends…our family, and say that we’re fine, when in truth, we’re dying inside?
Is it judgment we fear? Or is it our own internal need…instinct, to act strong even in the sole company of friends? Sure, the masks have come off, but only when they collapse under pressure from the emotions raging behind them.
But really, what was the point? He really, really wanted to know.
We could see behind each other’s masks, anyway. Hell, I swear sometimes we can even read each other’s minds. So why bother wearing them? Why put up the front and exhaust ourselves even more? Was it just easier keeping them on all the time, instead of going through the trouble of deciding who to reveal to, or not? And if that were the case…why did it matter? Seriously…who, at least on this base, would judge anyone whose guard faltered?
Or maybe…Jack thought, maybe that’s not why we did it after all…
“So…the guy, who actually referred Jack to Cornelius, somehow found out his real agenda and contacted the SGC.” Daniel was starting to get curious again and Carter was sitting on the side of his bed, filling him in, while Jack only half listened—still lost in his monumentally profound reverie.
“Yes. Teal’c and I were off-world at the time but,” she brought up a teasing finger. “I heard that once the news reached our beloved Janet Frasier…there was not a marine on base that could keep her in this infirmary.”
Daniel blushed and tried to hide it by ducking his head. “What about Hammond?”
“The General,” Janet cut in, as she entered the room, “gave me his blessing after I reminded him of both of your track records.”
Jack snapped out of his musing for that remark and chimed in with Daniel. “Hey!”
The majors didn’t even try to suppress their laughter. “Anyway…” Carter continued, clearing her throat, “we have the artifact now, Daniel, thanks to you. And the Tok’ra have already started preliminary testing on it.”
“Good. Umm…” Daniel brought his arms up in a protective hug. “I can already tell you from personal experience, that it doesn’t just have healing capabilities.”
…Maybe we did it for the lookers that would never see. For the men, women, and children who would learn of our tale in years to come. For those who would get to imagine, instead of know what it was like to sacrifice and die again and again for people they would never meet…
Carter’s eyes saddened and briefly lowered to the wrapped hand in hers. “We know, Daniel. Although we haven’t exactly figured it out yet, I’m guessing it has the ability to briefly manipulate things on a molecular level…among other things.”
“Which is probably why my entire body feels like it’s been yanked and pulled in every direction, while simultaneously being run over by a Mothership in hyper drive.”
“Well, Daniel,” Janet teased, checking his chart, “recovering from pneumonia, septic shock and a bullet wound might also cause some discomfort.”
Daniel hugged himself tighter. “Yeah…I guess so.”
…They would read the stories. Maybe even watch the movies and cry for our losses…but they would never feel the needless guilt or emptiness they had left behind in us…
Daniel pulled himself back out of the jungle he had suddenly found himself in again, and painfully swallowed the memory of the gunfire that had killed his colleague. “So, what happened to Cornelius?”
“He got away, DanielJackson.” Teal’c had been hovering by the whole time.
“And I doubt we’ll ever find him,” Jack added grimly.
“Oh.”
When Daniel’s heart rate started to increase exponentially, Janet brought her hands up in a shooing motion. “Okay everybody, Dr. Jackson needs his rest.”
Jack watched, as Carter bent over and planted a kiss on her favorite archeologist’s forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Daniel.”
…The pictures they would grasp might reveal the pain…but they would never truly capture it, they would never be forced to endure it…
“Kay, Sam. Thanks for the cookies.”
"Yeahsureyoubetchya.” She smiled and squeezed his arm before finally walking away.
“It is good to have you back home again, DanielJackson.” Teal’c now stood beside Daniel with his arms behind his back.
Daniel almost laughed. “I know, Teal’c. Thank you. You’ve been telling me that everyday for a week.”
…They would read the books with the luxury to simply turn the page, if they didn’t really want to know what it felt like—to have to choose between friend and country.
The Jaffa looked like he was about to say something, but instead, closed his mouth and started again. “Will you be in need of any assistance before I retire to my quarters?”
“No, Teal’c. Thank you, though.”
“It is my pleasure. Sleep well, DanielJackson.”
In time, the SGC would become history. Our legacy passed down through generations by descendants, books, metals and so on. The world would learn of the military colonel—who saved the world with his leadership, the scientist major—who saved the world with her mind. The military doctor—who save the world with her hands, the Jaffa—who saved the world with his strength. And the civilian…who saved the world with his soul.
Daniel let the thoughtfulness of his friends that touched his heart, show on his face. “Goodnight, Teal’c”
~*~SG1~*~
Smiling at the near empty room, Janet was beginning to think that it was finally getting easier to pry Daniel’s faithful friends from his side. Well, a little easier, she added, when her eyes came to rest on the still occupied hospital chair.
“Colonel?” she approached the defiant leader.
“Doctor?” he looked up at her.
“Sir.”
“Major.”
“Jack.”
“Janet.”
Daniel had been eyeing them the whole time and after a moment of silence that had been induced by a stare off, he decided to say something. “If you guys are finished, I think I’ll get some sleep.”
“Good idea, Daniel,” they spoke simultaneously, neither one breaking eye contact.
“And…umm, Janet…if Jack wants to stay, that’s alright with me. I’m sure he won’t bother me.”
“If you’re sure, Daniel,” she said, looking at him and ultimately losing the stare off.
“Yeah, thank you.”
nbsp;
“Okay then, I’ll be in my office if you need anything,” she called over her shoulder.
Jack was tempted to stick his tongue out…but he wanted to keep it.
Turning back to Daniel, he noticed that the mask of a man just trying to survive his destiny, was still in place. “Is there anything you wanna talk about?”
…and in truth, maybe that’s the way we wanted it to be. Maybe that was all they needed to know…all that we wanted them to know. After all, why bother protecting the world from the universe, if we couldn’t even shield it from our own pain…
“No Jack, not…not right now, anyway, but thanks. And thank you for…you know…coming to get me and everything.”
“Undomesticated equines couldn’t keep me away, Dannyboy.”
A small laugh passed through Daniel’s lips. “You’ve been hanging around Teal’c too much.”
“Actually, I think it’s the other way around.”
Daniel suddenly got serious again and looked his friend in the eyes. “Thank you, Jack. Really.”
Jack squeezed his forearm, and with a tight throat, whispered, “Anytime.”
…Maybe that’s what we really hung onto. Not our masks…but the hope that the world will understand without having to see. That they will acknowledge our losses, our fallen heroes and know that we did not crumble in the wake of despair. That hope may have been lost, but never truly forgotten. That we stayed standing and walked on…through our sorrow, even while our souls lay rocking, begging please.
Watching as his best friend and chosen brother settled into slumber, probably already trying to tuck the bad memories into one of those little boxes, Jack was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to tell him. He couldn’t wait any longer. He had to tell Daniel what he meant to him. And he had to tell him now, incase chance would never come again.
Hoping that Janet was out of hearing range, because she would kick his ass if she knew what he was about to do, Jack leaned forward, cursing the damn inhospitable hospital chairs and their creaks.
“Daniel?” he whispered.
In the end, one can only pray that the struggle to conceal our own emotions won’t hinder, or shield our gift of knowing what the other is feeling or thinking on the other side of the mask. That, regardless of how hard we try to mask our own pain, we won’t fail to notice the ones we love.
After searching Daniel’s face for a response and getting none, Jack sighed and leaned back in his chair. Closing his eyes, he cursed himself for waiting too long again.
However, when he heard a sleepy reassurance whispered from the bed, he smiled and relaxed for the first time, in a very, very long time.
“I know, Jack. I know.”
Epilogue:
Maybe, when it all came down to it, this was the price that unsung heroes paid. It wasn’t the visible scar tissue; it was the eternally seeping wounds of the soul. The ones that couldn’t be mended without bringing into the very light we forbid it. It was the suffering in silence. The downcast eyes, as they revealed too much truth…too much pain.
It all went back to lonely nights and secret tears, because we didn’t want the world to see. We only wanted it to know that we did not yield to the demands of survival. That still, even through the fog of battles, loss and pain, we forged—carrying on with a flood of nightmares we’d only dare to weep in solitude.
Maybe this was the price of our legacy…
With a self-satisfied smile, Jack brought his arms up behind him and cradled his head in his hands. “Profound indeed,” he whispered to himself. “Profound indeed.”
The End.